Romeo & Juliet

Love and Sex

Unconditional Love for God or Sex? A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami

In the material world everyone is interested for his own sense gratification. The love between man and woman, young boy and young girl, that is not love, that is lust, because both the parties are interested in sense gratification. But that is not love. Love means the parties, they will not think of his own sense gratification but the sense gratification of the beloved. That is pure love. That is not possible in the material world... more

The principle of male and female attraction, which is found in every species of life, exists because it is originally there in the Absolute. After all, why are there only two sexes--why not three, four, six, five, ten, one, or none? Why is it that there are two sexes in every species of life? Where does this most basic principle come from? We find the answer in Vedic literature. It exists in the material sphere because it is there in the Absolute.

God is not neuter. God is not impersonal, void or alone. God is always associating with His eternal consort, or His eternal lover, Radharani. That absolute principle is imitated in the relative world of the material creation. In the material world it is perverted, temporary and always full of misery.

Therefore we find that in every religious community there is a tendency to restrict the connection of man and woman. Sex attraction is the basic platform of material entanglement, but a concession is made to allow man and woman to associate under the sacred vow of marriage. A man is allowed to take one woman--not a dozen, two dozen or three dozen without any restriction. Man is attracted to woman; woman is attracted to man, and the result of such attraction is children. Children mean that you need a house, you need money, you need friends, you need relatives, and you need countrymen. The whole material entanglement is generated out of this male-female attraction.

Imitation is Cheap--Get the Real Thing!

If we want to get out of the material existence, then we shall have to learn how to dissolve the attraction for sex enjoyment. That is possible when we become attracted to the original Radha and Krishna relationship on the spiritual plane. That is the original sex principle. But in illusion, we are attempting to imitate Radha and Krishna. God is always enjoying, and therefore material activities are an imitation of His enjoyment. We are supposed to serve God; in that service we enjoy, but in the imitation we simply suffer.

It is not possible to make spiritual advancement and simultaneously enjoy material life. They never go together. Instead of trying to imitate Krishna, we should try to serve Krishna. At the present moment, there is no knowledge of this basic truth, and in ignorance, everyone is trying to be happy on this artificial platform of sex enjoyment.

Sex is a very gross affair which is attractive only as long as the body is youthful. In English literature we have the story of Romeo and Juliet, which appears to be a very lofty and noble affair; but on the other hand, if Romeo and Juliet had lived to be eighty, how would that story have ended? The love of the man and woman in the material world is quite obnoxious when it is studied in its real perspective. Romeo would have become old, toothless, wrinkled and impotent, and Juliet would have become bent over, with gray hair and sagging breasts. The whole affair would not be romantic at all, but actually quite repulsive because this material love is based on illusion, whereas spiritual love is actually based on truth.

Stop being Romantic about Blood, Flesh, Bones, Mucus and Bile

The truth is that we are not this lump of matter, which is only a combination of earth, water, fire, air, ether and so on, or blood, flesh, bones, skin, hair, mucus and bile. We are the living force within this body--we are never born and never die. The body is a dress only, worn for some time by the eternal soul, and when it is worn out, the soul gives up the old and useless body and gets a new body. But because there is no information about the nature and character of the eternal soul, we are trying to be happy with the temporary material body, which is a dress only. Although it is a kind of unpalatable truth, it is true that the body is temporary and the soul is eternal. The Vedic wisdom is very uncompromising about this matter. It is not a matter of believing something. It is common sense.

No one loves a dead body, however beautiful it may be. The body is beautiful only when life is present. When life leaves the body, no one will find any attraction in that dead body. That is the proof of this Vedic conclusion, of which we have experience even in ordinary affairs.

Let's Face It: a Woman-hunter Cannot Be a Spiritualist

Shankaracharya warns us, "Don't be attracted to the two lumps of flesh, fat, and blood known as the breasts of a young woman. These are the products of illusion." In the Srimad-Bhagavatam it is said, "Woman is the wonderful creation of maya to keep a man entangled in this world." If you want to advance in spiritual life, you will have to become callous to the attraction of womanly beauty. It is difficult, but it is possible, and it is necessary if we want to be situated in spiritual life. A woman-hunter cannot be a spiritualist. We don't find that Buddha, Chaitanya or Christ had an allowance in their lives for sex enjoyment. In the material world, woman is the inspiration for greatness; but in the spiritual world, the renunciation of woman is the inspiration for greatness. Thus, material life and spiritual life are opposite. If you want to be great materially, you must be inspired by woman. "Behind every great man there is a woman." In the spiritual field, we find the renunciation of woman makes one great.

This movement is the only movement which preaches very strongly on this point, and therefore this movement is not popular. If we were to preach the opposite--that sex is natural and we should enjoy it to the maximum--we should have so many followers. We are preaching without any consideration of social convention or fashion. We have to be satisfied with the naked truth rather than with artificial conventions and fashion. This is not meant to be discrimination against women, but it is an unpalatable fact that the attraction between man and woman is the basic platform of material illusion, because it is based on something which is false: it is based on this body. There may be some beauty for a few years, but that is not permanent. That is just a shadow of the real beauty which is eternal.

No One Loves a Dead Body

We must focus our attention on the eternal beauty of Radha and Krishna and not on the temporary beauty of matter in the shape of earth, water, fire, or flesh and bones. Do not take this to be fanaticism; it is practical. If you think on it seriously and soberly, you will come to the same understanding--that this body is, in and of itself, abominable. Temporarily, as long as the soul is connected with the body, it appears very nice; but when the soul goes, the body loses its attraction. Nobody keeps a dead body, however beautiful it might have been, because the beauty is not in the body. It is in the soul which has vacated the body.

Vedic literature advises us, "Try to understand this atma-tattva (knowledge of the soul, knowledge of the self). Athato brahma-jijñasa: "In human life we should try to understand the Absolute Truth." Raja-vidya raja-guhyam pavitram idam uttamam (Bhagavad-gita 9.2 ): This is the king of science and the king of education--the science of the soul. The doctors and technologists are studying this material world, composed of earth, water, fire, etc., but this world devoid of life and devoid of consciousness has no value. The beauty of this world is in the life which we find behind it. Behind this body there is life. Behind the atom there is life. The Supreme Life is God, Krishna, and we are small, minute life. The purpose of human life is to understand all these things and go back to the eternal life of knowledge and bliss, rather than remain in a temporary life, struggling to eat, sleep, defend and have sex.

This Krishna Consciousness movement has been organized for that purpose and for nothing else. We do not expect that we shall have hundreds and millions of followers, but some intelligent men and women will understand this basic truth and accept a life of penance, renunciation and austerity and try to get out of ignorance and come to knowledge. That is the idea. Hare Krishna.